Fallen

Beep beep. Beep beep.

His eyelids were heavy. The ceiling was blurred till he blinked twice. The unknown anxiety came all over Juan again, and the moist air in the room made him hard to breathe. It was a bit unbearable, he slightly opened his mouth, eager to get more air in. Sitting down for a while, Juan took his phone from the nightstand, the time on the screen urged him to get up, and his eyes were fixed on the date on the screen.

The date made his heart fall.

It was the same date again: October 1st. Juan rapped on the bed angrily, but his arm was so weak that he could hardly lift it. After a suffocating silence, he finally realized that there was nothing he could do. He can never do it, he can never escape, no matter how hard he tried. His body became numb, he had to climb out of bed or else he will be suffocated sooner or later. Juan could feel that his legs were no longer his, at least for now, however, luckily he still managed to walk into the bathroom. The face in the mirror was so familiar yet unfamiliar, and he need to see this face every day, every October 1st.

He was stuck in this Mobius strip.

The sun rose high, Juan took a quick bath and put on his suit. The sunlight escaping in through the window was the only thing that can give him a trace of warmth. There was also a jar of candy that could give him some happiness in this chaos, his steps finally became cheerful at the thought of it. He went to the jar and took two from it just like before, after living like a walking corpse for countless days, he need this jar of candy to awaken his soul every time. However, until this day, he still had no idea why things turned out like this. He should be dead. Life is cherishable, but now he would rather die back then, it's so much better than living in this endless cycle. “Can I quit?” Juan asked the jar of candy one last time before he left, the tone sounded more like begging.

And he didn’t get his answer.

Juan was no longer nostalgic for his home, it was time for him to go. He walked in the direction of the company and saw every scene on the road which he had seen thousands of times, two women were yelling at each other in the street, a child was clamoring to buy pancakes, and a lost dog was wandering to find its owner. Juan slowly unwrapped a candy wrapper, the sweetness of the candy exploded in his mouth with a hint of bitterness. That day was the same for him either: quarreling for the same stuff, being scolded by the same people, and doing the same work. Everything was the same just like copied and pasted. Juan was so desperate that he wanted to shout out of his lungs, but there was no sound coming out of his mouth, and if he really yell in the street, he is likely to be recognized as a schizophrenic. Juan mocked himself for this random thought, he was done for today, and now it was time for him to drag his exhausted body back home. The setting sun behind him pulled down a big shadow, marking the end of the day. He took a different road from when he came, which was quieter and less crowded. “What an accident-prone place.” Juan smiled bitterly and started to kick the pebbles on the ground. He can't choose another road to go back home, he can’t even control his body. He has tried to get rid of this shackle, but he will be pulled back by an invisible force every time to continue living on a fixed track. He was too exhausted, so instead of thinking about these messes, Juan continued to kick the pebbles and started to calculate his pace. One step, two steps, three steps...

A truck came expectedly and hit his body. The sense of pain was clear and the body felt torn apart.

Juan has never craved for his death that much.

Beep beep. Beep beep.

His eyelids were heavy. The ceiling was blurred till he blinked twice.

He came back, Juan laughed loudly with pain in his eyes. God always likes to joke with him, he was "alive" again after hitting hard by a truck. Such an unluckiest luck. Juan stared at the white ceiling blankly for a couple of seconds, then he finally sit up. Today was a bit different. There was a fainted voice that kept calling his name and the volume was so low he need to hold his breath to hear it clearer. In a split second, something triggered the nerve in his mind and he rushed to get his phone to check the date, but the result disappointed him. It was still October 1st. Juan can't stand it any longer, the poor man rushed to the kitchen and found a knife, stabbing himself so hard like a madman. The pain was so real that he gradually lost consciousness.

When he woke up, he found himself in bed again.

Juan covered his eyes with one arm and shed tears silently. What did he do wrong to be tortured like this? His mind got even more chaotic and the voice in his head became more and more obvious, till the point that made him he finally threw the pillow and shouted furiously, "Shut up! Shut up! Leave me alone! Please I beg you..."

The voice didn’t stop. After a minute, Juan finally started to calm down to listen to it carefully for a moment, and he found out that the voice sounded like his mom’s. "Mom, is that you mom?" Juan asked, but the voice didn’t answer him, it just kept calling his name. Juan rushed into the street, the voice in his head was suddenly loud and suddenly quiet as if to show him the way.

He was excited like a kid who just won a big prize. He had thought that he would be rescued soon. He's gonna find his dear mother, and he's going to give her a good hug just like before.

Different from the previous days, people on the road did not seem to see him, Juan has tried to stop a taxi but no one can hear him. He didn't care much about it anyway, now the only thing in his mind was to see his dear mother. Despite the voice in his head, there seemed to be something in his heart that showed him the way either.

They kept leading him until he came to an altar. Beside the altar, Juan finally saw a woman kneeling on the ground and his feet were rooted on the ground for the sight. He was so excited that he couldn't make a sound, after settling down for a moment, he finally called out his mother. However, his mother was still looking at the altar piously, till this point, Juan finally realized that something was wrong. "Mom...mom...mom!" He ran to his mother and knelt in front of her. "Mom, I’m back mom, Juan is back..."

His mother was not looking at him. ​​She stood up and walked up and down a row of altars with burning bronze pots in one hand, gently guiding a wisp of fragrant smoke with the other. The woman gradually wet her eyes under Juan's sight. "I miss you," her tears ran down her cheek, and she finally knelt at the altar. "I really miss you Juan, my son..."

Juan, who now kneeling on the floor, slowly turned his head and noticed the furnishings here. He finally realized that it was an altar for recalling the dead on Día de los Muertos, Day of the Dead. He felt a burst of cold in his body, and a thought flashed through his mind: he was actually dead.

He no longer existed in this world.

Juan collapsed to the ground in despair and roared in pain, but no one could hear him. He didn't know where he should go or where his home was. Maybe he doesn’t have a home anymore. He dragged himself down the street and started to yell like a real schizophrenic that he thought was stupid before, but no one was giving him any weird look. A man who had endured countless times of life and death finally knelt helplessly by the side of the road, crying like a lost child. He hid under his arm trying to escape until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Juan turned his head and saw a child dressed in red.

That child said nothing and sat down next to him.

What a poor kid, Juan thought, disappeared from this world just like him. The girl was so young so Juan took some pity on the girl, even though he was dead either. Suddenly, he reached into his pocket and took out two candies that he had taken before he came out in a hurry. He wiped the tears from his face, didn't want to be so embarrassed in front of the girl, and then handed one of them to her. The girl seemed a little surprised, she took the candy after hesitating for a moment and whispered: "Thanks." Juan tried to smile at the girl but failed. He swallowed a bit and put the candy in his mouth. The candy now tasted bitter.

Neither of them spoke, and it was only after a long time that the girl finally broke the peace. “You know, you’re not supposed to be there.” The girl said it quietly. Juan nodded his head, but then the girl spoke again: “I mean you’re not supposed to be stuck in that loop, Mr. Juan.” Juan turned his head abruptly and started to breathe heavily: “How did you know my name?” The girl didn’t answer his question, instead, she looked into his eyes and said: “You’re cursed, mister.”

“That timid man fear of his crime. He went to the witch and cursed you to stay here forever so you couldn't get back at him. Poor you.” The girl shooked her head, and her words were filled with pity. The painful memories flashback in Juan’s mind, he was nearly unable to hold his anger, and the words were squeezing out from his teeth: “He...didn’t get punished?”

“Sadly no, mister. It was a hit-and-run.”

Then why him? Why is he the one who bears all the pain while the killer gets away with it? Juan can't stand it any longer. Why is the world so unfair? The girl saw his heart was collapsing, but she just continued talking with a straight face: "Today is November 2nd in the world of the living, well, I guess it’s the Day of Dead in your region's belief." She paused for a moment, then glanced at Juan: “I can help you, mister.” So he's been stuck on October 1st for a month? Juan clenched his fist, then turned to the girl and asked: “Why are you helping me? And...who are you?”

“It doesn't matter who I am.” the girl stood up and patted the dust on her red skirt.

“And well, because that candy of yours was very sweet.”

A man was walking out from the woods and sneaked up to a truck. The truck was loaded with woods that are not allowed to be felled in this area. The illegal felling of trees wasn't a clean business, but these woods will give him a good amount of money. The man looked at the wood on the truck and smirked contentedly, which has already started to count the money he’s gonna receive this time. He was unwilling to waste time over here, so he quickly pulled out a huge piece of white cloth to cover all the wood, then got into the driver's seat and started the engine. The truck was driving on a straight road and the trees on both sides of the road were pretty lush, which made his mood much better.

After driving for half an hour, the man finally realized that something was wrong.

This road seemed to be endless. He has been on this road couple of times before, and it usually took him only fifteen minutes to get on the main road. The man checked the fuel level of the truck and then drove on with indifference. However, after driving for more than twenty minutes, he was still on this road. Having been driving for almost an hour, the man finally felt a trace of fear and tried to stop the truck, only to find to his horror that he could not slow his truck down.

“Fun, isn’t it?”

A voice appeared beside him. The man turned his head with fear and saw a familiar face smiling at him. “Who...who the hell are you?!” His hands started to tremble, and his voice was not stable anymore. That’s what Juan wanted to see, he wanted this man to feel his fear, his helplessness, his anger, he wanted this man to taste his own medicine. “You know how it feels to be hit by a truck?” Juan got closer to the man and whispered: “You will feel the pain of your shattered bone piercing into your muscle and organs. You won’t be able to breathe because your lung would be broken into pieces. The wheel, oh lord, here comes the fun part...they will run over your legs, your arms, your torso, and your head. It feels like heaven.”

It feels like hell.

The man who finally realized the truth was now left with only fear. He finally recognized who Juan is and kept apologizing to his victim. Juan looked coldly at the man in front of him, after experiencing death more than thirty times, he just wanted the guy in front of him to suffer more than he did.

“Quit babbling and just enjoy the show buddy. I bet you would like it.”

The desperate man looked at his side again, only to find out that Juan was not on the seat anymore. The truck was accelerating faster and faster, now he finally saw the end of the road. A huge tree was planted there. It was the tree with the largest trunk diameter the man had ever seen, and it was sure to fetch a good price. However, money doesn't matter here anymore. Under the frightened eyes of the man, the truck crashed into the tree trunk at maximum speed.

The fallen leaves on the ground were soon covered with blood.